Welcome back to Uncomfortable Conversations About Money,VAS Community a new series where we will tackle topics or situations around money that make you uneasy. We'll outline the problem and try to get you some usable solutions.   

The dilemma: Being a bridesmaid today is not the same as it was when I was in my early 20s and when I got married nearly 29 years ago. My bridesmaids bought a dress (OK, I now admit it was ugly), I had a bridal shower in my maid of honor's family basement and I honestly can't remember if I had a bachelorette party. This was definitely before there were big blow-out "destination" festivities.

Being a bridesmaid is different now – and more expensive

These days, being a bridesmaid can get very expensive, especially if the ceremony and prenuptial festivities are out of town, adding even more costs on top of the bridal party attire and other expenses. Can or should you turn down an invitation to stand beside your friend at the altar? 

Learn more: Best wedding loans